Five Check-In Ideas for Couples


Regular and structured check-ins can provide a safe context wherein a couple may mutually share emotions, needs, thoughts, and recovery-related updates in a predictable and appropriate manner. This document outlines five different formats for incorporating this valuable practice into recovery work.


This document provides instruction and guidance on how to incorporate meaningful check-ins into couple recovery work. Five different formats are outlined and explained: FANOS, The Vowel Check, Check-In Using Preset Questions, Check-In Using Randomly Pulled Preset Questions, and High–Low. Thirty-one sample questions are provided to give couples plenty of examples of questions that can be beneficial to ask during recovery-focused check-ins. ­­


Designed for:

  • Licensed and certified mental health providers and coaches who work with betrayed partners.
  • Individuals who are healing from betrayal trauma.

9 pages

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